1. |
Everybody Has ADHD!
01:50
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Everybody has ADHD
everybody has ADHD
I wasn’t aware
Thank god the internet told me
Everybody has undiagnosed ADHD
I gotta clean my room
But first I gotta pay this unpaid bill
Oh looks like I forgot I paid it last week
But I forgot to notate that
So let me notate that real quick
And on my way I’ll answer that
email I’ve been neglecting
But I’ll stop at Twitter first
To make sure there’s not something
That I’m missing
Why is everyone tweeting about Betty White
Oh my god, she died
I better post a photo of Betty white
You know I should really organize
My tasks into a to do list
Then never check that to do
list again
When does my favorite basketball team
Play next
Should I go see a movie
Or watch YouTube
To recharge my batteries
I forgot batteries
For my tv remote
Should I watch tv
Or go to the store
I’m gonna go to the store
Then reward myself with tv
At least I know what’s wrong with me
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2. |
Loud Outfit
01:02
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I wanna hit it like a real sledge hammer
I wanna leave no doubt
There ain’t no chance I give a damn
I’m so extra
Check my flex
I’m cashing checks
I’m like “Who’s next?”
Under the lights of the city I feel
An energy in the air
That’s why tonight in this city
There is no doubt I’m gonna wear
A LOUD OUTFIT
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3. |
the Metaverse
02:04
|
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Mark Zuckerberg’s got the plan
He’s our visionary future man
He’s not an evil alien from outer space
He’s an Earth man
Mark Zuckerberg speaks the words
He doth instruct and we doth learn
He will annihilate the past
And usher us into the metaverse
The metaverse
The metaverse
Rejoice rejoice
We’re going into the metaverse
Everyone will go to work in
A digital environment owned by one single company
And there is nothing weird about that its totally fine
The metaverse
The metaverse
Don’t think too much about it
It’s really cool
The metaverse
The met averse
This definitely won’t be
The harbinger of the apocalypse
The metaverse
The metaverse
Rejoice rejoice
Because the future begins today
In 5,4,3,2
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4. |
Soy Boy
00:46
|
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I’m a soy boy
I’m a beta cuck liberal male
I like simping for my lady
And I’m kind of scared of Christian Bale
I’m a soy boy
I don’t like to take charge
I’m a feminist, anti-racist
And my muscles are not large
Sometimes I cry and sometimes I dance
Sometimes I like to be romanced
Sometimes I’m physically affectionate
With my male friends without being weird
Or homophobic about it
Soy boy
Diplomatic and demure
Just a soy boy
So special and so pure
|
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5. |
White Kix
02:09
|
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White kicks
White kicks
(repeated)
Anyone who knows me knows I love white kicks
Take em out the box and the dopamine hits
Take em for a spin but try to keep em clean
Hit the town just to be seen
Any look you want it elevates the fit
In formal dress or laid back shit
Any day’s a good day to drip the drip
By stunting in some fresh white kicks
|
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6. |
Free Time
00:37
|
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That was in my
Free time
You don’t get to tell me what to do
When I’m spending my hard-earned free time
Any way that I want to
I could look at my phone
Or go to a movie
Or Go on a hike
Or stare at the wall
I could go to brunch
On a stroll in the park
To a fancy museum
Or stare at a wall
In my free time
When my boss is me, myself, and I
I’ll be spending my hard-earned free time
How I want until I die
|
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7. |
Robbie
01:10
|
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You crushed it Robbie
That was straight from the heart
And relatable too
Nice to meet you Robbie
I hope we get to see a lot more from you
You could have over-played your hand
But you kept it simple and concise
You seem warm, wholesome, likeable, and nice
So
Robbie, Robbie, Robbie,
Welcome to tiktok
Robbie, robbie, robbie, robbie,
Welcome to tiktok
We’re so glad you’re here!
|
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8. |
I Look F*ckin Good
00:15
|
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I look fuckin good today
Just thought you should know
That's all I wanna say
My Outfit is dope
That's it
|
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9. |
||||
Anti-vaxxers dying in a crowded ICU
Water protectors clashing with the good old boys in blue
The ocean caught on fire
Thieves and liars
Get paid well
The work force slowly stirring
From capitalism’s spell
Artist’s making art that gets
Consumed on a phone screen
Now they’re called content creators
And most their work is free
Your health care bill’s extorting every
Dollar that you make
The Taliban collected
On our 20-year mistake
There it is again that funny feeling
That funny feeling
|
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10. |
||||
You really thought you had
A good hot take
Didn’t you?
You could see it on your face
You thought you added
Something of value
Maybe an idea that no one
Had considered
Thank god for you and your
Free-thinking brain
They dialed up their
Best pinch hitter
And you blew us all into yesterday
Well I’ve got some bad news
Im sorry to tell you
What you just said is not original
Or smart
Its more like a smelly
Stinky wet fart
And you can blow it out your ass
You fucking potato
Spare us all your Facebook meme research
Blow it out your ass
You fucking potato
People who say what you just said
Are the worst
|
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11. |
||||
It costs money to start a business
You need capital if you wanna climb
You need money to get from A to B
But it costs nothing for you to be kind
It costs money to start a family
And money can bring you peace of mind
A nice house and feeling of security
And still it’s totally free to be kind.
|
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12. |
Viral Sensation!
00:33
|
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Woke up feeling special
So I checked my phone
and what do you know?
Hundreds of thousands of people
Liked my video
And now I'm viral!
I'm a viral sensation!
But I'm still so sad.
Oh no, n-n-n-no
That's really not good.
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13. |
||||
14. |
Screen Time
02:33
|
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I remember a time
Before this constant noise
I was born on the edge of a dying time
We knew less
And we felt fine
I got my first cell phone when I was fourteen
A little Nokia
They were new and novel
No one knew the wonders they would bring
Oh you could customize your ringtone
Text a friend or make a call
Beat your high score on snake and that was all
I remember palm pilots and blackberries
I remember Y2K and 9/11
But nothing could prepare us for two thousand and seven
When Apple dropped a phone that was just a little screen
Click it on and get completely lost
In anything and everything
Screen Time is my only time
I’m aware of the toll it takes on my mind
You don’t have to tell me how much screen time
I’m getting
I would rather know how much time
That I’m not spending on a phone
Or a laptop or a tv
These mothafuckin screens are killing me
I take a walk or a hike and a see a nice view
Take out my phone and take a video
First thing I do
I can’t just be a human in the world
Just experiencing
Gotta validate my existence via screen
Dispensing
All my knowledge
My values
My fears
And the hope that in another
Hundred thousand years
Some part of me will still exist
Some part of me still might be missed
If I Lock it in the screen
It might have the power
To quiet my brain
For another couple hours
Oh, god
|
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15. |
the Potato Song (REMIX)
02:06
|
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You really thought you had
A good hot take
Didn’t you?
You could see it on your face
You thought you added
Something of value
Maybe an idea that no one
Had considered
Thank god for you and your
Free-thinking brain
They dialed up their
Best pinch hitter
And you blew us all into yesterday
Well I’ve got some bad news
Im sorry to tell you
What you just said is not original
Or smart
Its more like a smelly
Stinky wet fart
And you can blow it out your ass
You fucking potato
Spare us all your Facebook meme research
Blow it out your ass
You fucking potato
People who say what you just said
Are the worst
|
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16. |
TikTok Medley (Acoustic)
02:22
|
Austin Archer Salt Lake City, Utah
Austin Archer is an artist from Salt Lake City, UT, living in LA. He has been writing and recording music since he was 15
years old. More music can be heard at chthonicdeadhouseband.bandcamp.com usthieves.bandcamp.com
bosstv.bandcamp.com
and
naturalhistorymusic.bandcamp.com
... more
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