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Now That's What I Call a Bunch of Austin Archer's TikTok Songs Compiled Into an Album Vol. 3

by Austin Archer

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twitchmagic
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twitchmagic I just couldn't help myself. Had to buy, can't stop listening. I relate way too much to Everybody Has ADHD! Favorite track: Everybody Has ADHD!.
oscarrothe
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oscarrothe Austin Archer is one of the only musical artists that can make me think about life stuff and make me laugh uncontrollably on the same album. Love everything he does. Favorite track: Soy Boy.
corinnabunn
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corinnabunn Its relevant, catchy, nerdy stuff.
miridoux
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miridoux Endlessly witty and fun, with a healthy dollop of social commentary throughout. Austin delivers such consistently good content, and I'm so happy to be able to support him (and satisfy the call of the earworms!) with this collection of his TikTok hits! Favorite track: It Costs Nothing to Be Kind.
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1.
Everybody has ADHD everybody has ADHD I wasn’t aware Thank god the internet told me Everybody has undiagnosed ADHD I gotta clean my room But first I gotta pay this unpaid bill Oh looks like I forgot I paid it last week But I forgot to notate that So let me notate that real quick And on my way I’ll answer that email I’ve been neglecting But I’ll stop at Twitter first To make sure there’s not something That I’m missing Why is everyone tweeting about Betty White Oh my god, she died I better post a photo of Betty white You know I should really organize My tasks into a to do list Then never check that to do list again When does my favorite basketball team Play next Should I go see a movie Or watch YouTube To recharge my batteries I forgot batteries For my tv remote Should I watch tv Or go to the store I’m gonna go to the store Then reward myself with tv At least I know what’s wrong with me
2.
Loud Outfit 01:02
I wanna hit it like a real sledge hammer I wanna leave no doubt There ain’t no chance I give a damn I’m so extra Check my flex I’m cashing checks I’m like “Who’s next?” Under the lights of the city I feel An energy in the air That’s why tonight in this city There is no doubt I’m gonna wear A LOUD OUTFIT
3.
Mark Zuckerberg’s got the plan He’s our visionary future man He’s not an evil alien from outer space He’s an Earth man Mark Zuckerberg speaks the words He doth instruct and we doth learn He will annihilate the past And usher us into the metaverse The metaverse The metaverse Rejoice rejoice We’re going into the metaverse Everyone will go to work in A digital environment owned by one single company And there is nothing weird about that its totally fine The metaverse The metaverse Don’t think too much about it It’s really cool The metaverse The met averse This definitely won’t be The harbinger of the apocalypse The metaverse The metaverse Rejoice rejoice Because the future begins today In 5,4,3,2
4.
Soy Boy 00:46
I’m a soy boy I’m a beta cuck liberal male I like simping for my lady And I’m kind of scared of Christian Bale I’m a soy boy I don’t like to take charge I’m a feminist, anti-racist And my muscles are not large Sometimes I cry and sometimes I dance Sometimes I like to be romanced Sometimes I’m physically affectionate With my male friends without being weird Or homophobic about it Soy boy Diplomatic and demure Just a soy boy So special and so pure
5.
White Kix 02:09
White kicks White kicks (repeated) Anyone who knows me knows I love white kicks Take em out the box and the dopamine hits Take em for a spin but try to keep em clean Hit the town just to be seen Any look you want it elevates the fit In formal dress or laid back shit Any day’s a good day to drip the drip By stunting in some fresh white kicks
6.
Free Time 00:37
That was in my Free time You don’t get to tell me what to do When I’m spending my hard-earned free time Any way that I want to I could look at my phone Or go to a movie Or Go on a hike Or stare at the wall I could go to brunch On a stroll in the park To a fancy museum Or stare at a wall In my free time When my boss is me, myself, and I I’ll be spending my hard-earned free time How I want until I die
7.
Robbie 01:10
You crushed it Robbie That was straight from the heart And relatable too Nice to meet you Robbie I hope we get to see a lot more from you You could have over-played your hand But you kept it simple and concise You seem warm, wholesome, likeable, and nice So Robbie, Robbie, Robbie, Welcome to tiktok Robbie, robbie, robbie, robbie, Welcome to tiktok We’re so glad you’re here!
8.
I look fuckin good today Just thought you should know That's all I wanna say My Outfit is dope That's it
9.
Anti-vaxxers dying in a crowded ICU Water protectors clashing with the good old boys in blue The ocean caught on fire Thieves and liars Get paid well The work force slowly stirring From capitalism’s spell Artist’s making art that gets Consumed on a phone screen Now they’re called content creators And most their work is free Your health care bill’s extorting every Dollar that you make The Taliban collected On our 20-year mistake There it is again that funny feeling That funny feeling
10.
You really thought you had A good hot take Didn’t you? You could see it on your face You thought you added Something of value Maybe an idea that no one Had considered Thank god for you and your Free-thinking brain They dialed up their Best pinch hitter And you blew us all into yesterday Well I’ve got some bad news Im sorry to tell you What you just said is not original Or smart Its more like a smelly Stinky wet fart And you can blow it out your ass You fucking potato Spare us all your Facebook meme research Blow it out your ass You fucking potato People who say what you just said Are the worst
11.
It costs money to start a business You need capital if you wanna climb You need money to get from A to B But it costs nothing for you to be kind It costs money to start a family And money can bring you peace of mind A nice house and feeling of security And still it’s totally free to be kind.
12.
Woke up feeling special So I checked my phone and what do you know? Hundreds of thousands of people Liked my video And now I'm viral! I'm a viral sensation! But I'm still so sad. Oh no, n-n-n-no That's really not good.
13.
14.
Screen Time 02:33
I remember a time Before this constant noise I was born on the edge of a dying time We knew less And we felt fine I got my first cell phone when I was fourteen A little Nokia They were new and novel No one knew the wonders they would bring Oh you could customize your ringtone Text a friend or make a call Beat your high score on snake and that was all I remember palm pilots and blackberries I remember Y2K and 9/11 But nothing could prepare us for two thousand and seven When Apple dropped a phone that was just a little screen Click it on and get completely lost In anything and everything Screen Time is my only time I’m aware of the toll it takes on my mind You don’t have to tell me how much screen time I’m getting I would rather know how much time That I’m not spending on a phone Or a laptop or a tv These mothafuckin screens are killing me I take a walk or a hike and a see a nice view Take out my phone and take a video First thing I do I can’t just be a human in the world Just experiencing Gotta validate my existence via screen Dispensing All my knowledge My values My fears And the hope that in another Hundred thousand years Some part of me will still exist Some part of me still might be missed If I Lock it in the screen It might have the power To quiet my brain For another couple hours Oh, god
15.
You really thought you had A good hot take Didn’t you? You could see it on your face You thought you added Something of value Maybe an idea that no one Had considered Thank god for you and your Free-thinking brain They dialed up their Best pinch hitter And you blew us all into yesterday Well I’ve got some bad news Im sorry to tell you What you just said is not original Or smart Its more like a smelly Stinky wet fart And you can blow it out your ass You fucking potato Spare us all your Facebook meme research Blow it out your ass You fucking potato People who say what you just said Are the worst
16.

credits

released February 4, 2022

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Austin Archer Salt Lake City, Utah

Austin Archer is an artist from Salt Lake City, UT, living in LA. He has been writing and recording music since he was 15 years old. More music can be heard at chthonicdeadhouseband.bandcamp.com usthieves.bandcamp.com
bosstv.bandcamp.com
and
naturalhistorymusic.bandcamp.com
... more

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